A lot of people ask me how I'm doing. I'm learning to take a moment and answer honestly. I'm obviously not going to go into lots of detail about anything, unless they ask, but I want to be real. If I am struggling, I'm going to say so and ask for their prayers. If I'm doing well, I'm going to rejoice with them. And it's different from day to day- sometimes hour to hour. But I have to be real. Far too often Christians want to hide their pain and pretend things are ok. How silly is that?? Really, as believers in the Creator of the Universe, the God who heals, loves, cares, provides grace and strength when we need it- why wouldn't we be honest and ask for the prayer we desperately need?
I'm surviving without my husband. :) I knew I would, but I sure didn't want to. I didn't want to have to rely on God. I even told Him so. I told Him I'd rather miss out on blessings from Him than be without my husband. Pretty dumb, right? Right. Fortunately, God graciously overlooked my stupidity and heaped on the blessings and the grace over the last couple of days. He is unendingly good to me, and I so don't deserve it sometimes.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Lots of vignettes
The visit to Mayo was very good. Most likely no radiation- which is a huge deal, because they would have wanted to do it there at Mayo. My first surgery, the double mastectomy, is set for March 16th. We did all the pre-prep stuff and it is actually real. More on that later.
I FOUND MY WEDDING RING!!! Well, God sent it back to me. A woman who works for the county government found it in the skywalk. She took it back to the secretary at her work, and the secretary went all out trying to find me. She left her name and number everywhere, and finally , when we returned 2 weeks later, I asked about it at the hotel desk and we were reunited! The lady, Nancy, lost her ring around her 5 anniversary and never found it. She remembered how awful it was so she did everything she could to find me. It was quite a gift to get it back. Though we had already gone to look at rings and I found one I really liked. . . . Oh, well. :) I really do love my little ring.
I had my first haircut last Thursday. I barely needed it, but it was a little scruffy.It was great to see Chrystal again, too. She's been an important part of this journey.
Saturday we took our Individual Events speech team to Tipton for district contest. Andy and one other student are advancing to State in storytelling. Imagine that! :) We are very proud of all of them.
We got home from conference about 2, and I slept all that evening and through the next day until 7. I'm glad to be working, but it completely wipes me out. I hate sacrificing time with my family. I think it will get better as our schedule keeps calming down.
Yesterday was Darrin's birthday and he left for Nebraska to do a festival. He'll be home late tomorrow night, just in time for our 5th anniversary on Friday.
Now- if you just want an update on things going on and the happy stuff- stop reading here. If you want the real, raw stuff, keep going.
I can't stop crying. I try to keep it together at school, but it takes supreme effort from moment to moment. I'm so incredibly scared. This upcoming surgery will change my life forever. It will never be the same, and I'm not ready for that. I will go to sleep with a complete body, and will wake up with a mutilated one. I do not yet have the strength to deal with that. Also- it is less than two weeks away, and God saw fit to remove my husband, my rock, my sea anemone, for three days. I know he wants me to rely on Him for all things, but it is truly hard. He has been writing the playlist for 101.9 lately, though. Every time I've turned it on in the last couple of days, all the songs are about strength, peace, God's power, things I really need to hear and remember.
I'm writing this at school while I don't have students. Just this minute a student brought me a card that was perfectly timed. Her words reminded me how important it is to fight! and to overcome this for the glory of the Lord. I also got a card from a friend of a friend- a lady I've never met. Her words were also so encouraging. God is really trying to take care of me, and sometimes I am not doing a good job of letting him. I think we all do that, sometimes. We either forget to, or don't want to let God be in charge. Even with God in charge doesn't guarantee that it isn't hard.
I'm too tied to write more right now. :)
I FOUND MY WEDDING RING!!! Well, God sent it back to me. A woman who works for the county government found it in the skywalk. She took it back to the secretary at her work, and the secretary went all out trying to find me. She left her name and number everywhere, and finally , when we returned 2 weeks later, I asked about it at the hotel desk and we were reunited! The lady, Nancy, lost her ring around her 5 anniversary and never found it. She remembered how awful it was so she did everything she could to find me. It was quite a gift to get it back. Though we had already gone to look at rings and I found one I really liked. . . . Oh, well. :) I really do love my little ring.
I had my first haircut last Thursday. I barely needed it, but it was a little scruffy.It was great to see Chrystal again, too. She's been an important part of this journey.
Saturday we took our Individual Events speech team to Tipton for district contest. Andy and one other student are advancing to State in storytelling. Imagine that! :) We are very proud of all of them.
We got home from conference about 2, and I slept all that evening and through the next day until 7. I'm glad to be working, but it completely wipes me out. I hate sacrificing time with my family. I think it will get better as our schedule keeps calming down.
Yesterday was Darrin's birthday and he left for Nebraska to do a festival. He'll be home late tomorrow night, just in time for our 5th anniversary on Friday.
Now- if you just want an update on things going on and the happy stuff- stop reading here. If you want the real, raw stuff, keep going.
I can't stop crying. I try to keep it together at school, but it takes supreme effort from moment to moment. I'm so incredibly scared. This upcoming surgery will change my life forever. It will never be the same, and I'm not ready for that. I will go to sleep with a complete body, and will wake up with a mutilated one. I do not yet have the strength to deal with that. Also- it is less than two weeks away, and God saw fit to remove my husband, my rock, my sea anemone, for three days. I know he wants me to rely on Him for all things, but it is truly hard. He has been writing the playlist for 101.9 lately, though. Every time I've turned it on in the last couple of days, all the songs are about strength, peace, God's power, things I really need to hear and remember.
I'm writing this at school while I don't have students. Just this minute a student brought me a card that was perfectly timed. Her words reminded me how important it is to fight! and to overcome this for the glory of the Lord. I also got a card from a friend of a friend- a lady I've never met. Her words were also so encouraging. God is really trying to take care of me, and sometimes I am not doing a good job of letting him. I think we all do that, sometimes. We either forget to, or don't want to let God be in charge. Even with God in charge doesn't guarantee that it isn't hard.
I'm too tied to write more right now. :)
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