All good things must come to an end

My fabulous weekend turned into a not so fabulous week.  My feet and ankles got really swollen on Sunday night, and today I couldn't get my rings on my fingers.  The swelling in my feet and ankles is pretty painful.

I've also started having "pain attacks".  That's what I'm calling them.  On Monday night I woke up in horrible pain.  I had already taken my pain medication, so there was nothing I could do.  It lasted about 15 minutes and then I fell asleep.  Then on Tuesday I had the same thing happen in the middle of world history class.  It was all I could do to get through the period.

Tuesday morning I was talking to Jeff (My boss)  about some theatre stuff.  At the end of the conversation he asked how I was doing, and reiterated that I was free to not be there if I didn't feel good.   He said he knew I would rather be dead than not at school, and he was giving me permission to take time to take care of myself.  I really think God prompted him to tell me that.  After world history I went down to the office and asked to leave.  I went to my parents' house and took a long bath with epsom salts.  It didn't really help anything, but it felt very good and was relaxing.

I'm frustrated.  You would think that as I get further away from treatment, I would be feeling better and better, not worse and worse.  I started dropping things today.  I dropped my cereal bowl this morning.  It's just hard to feel things.  I've started walking like a 90 year old.  The chemo girls all have buttons that say "Cancer Sucks".  I don't really like the work 'sucks', but it is really true.  I keep telling Darrin that it is all just stupid.  The side effects are just stupid.

I led the staff prayer time this morning.  We get together every Wednesday, and one person shares a brief thought and then we pray specifically for the school- the students, teachers, administration, school board and elders. I shared from 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.  That's the passage about strength and weakness.   I have sure felt weak over the past several months.  The only way I've gotten this far is through His strength.

Yesterday, the devotion in my book talked about how He is already there, at the end of our circumstances.  It was such a great reinforcement.  Encouragement keeps coming at exactly the right time.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Women, be sure to do your exams!  Husbands, encourage your wives to do their exams. I found my lump because I was familiar with what it was supposed to feel like.  Early detection is key.

Happy October!  Take time to enjoy the beauty that is fall in Iowa!