I had an amazing weekend. I felt so good. Other than my hands and feet, of course. :) On Friday night Darrin and I went to Taj Mahal for wonderful Indian food. Then we went to TCR to see Into the Woods, one of my favorite musicals. It was fantastic. Absolutely thrilling. I loved it so much. AND- I forgot, just for a little while, that I have cancer. It was amazing.
On Saturday, Darrin did shadow puppets at the Lincoln Highway Arts Festival. I joined him for part of the day. It was beautiful out and I love watching him tell stories and interact with kids. On Sunday, we went over to my parents to celebrate their birthdays. Then I came home and cooked! I made Darrin his favorite peanut butter rice krispie treats, baked oatmeal, and a couple of dishes to take to school for the 6th graders- they are studying ancient Israel and we were up to Passover.
It's wonderful to finally feel like me again. I haven't felt like me since June. The Ritalin is a gift from God. I can finally function again. The neuropathy isn't getting any better, though. And now my feet and ankles are really swollen and painful. I'm trying ice and elevation to see if that helps. If not, I'll call the Dr. to make sure it's not anything serious.
My ability to recall words is getting worse and worse. Today I couldn't come up with Cleopatra in world history. There were actually several times in that class I had trouble saying what I wanted to. And I'm saying the wrong word with more regularity. Yesterday I told Darrin we needed to buy more tomato notes. (Thank you notes). Today I asked Luke to put something in the purple (papasan). I said that one twice before I got it right. I guess I just needed to say the word purple! :) I seem to get the first letter correct, but then it becomes a different word. I have the right word in my head, but the wrong one comes out. It is actually quite funny. Losing my words, not so much. That's just frustrating.
I'm hoping for another couple days of feeling good before my treatment on Thursday. I hope they'll be able to continue with everything. Poor Sylvia. She told us she thinks about me all the time- trying to figure out ways to get me through this. She's been so amazing.
I'm looking forward to the run/walk on Sunday!! GO TEAM ROBIN!
Monday, September 29, 2014
Thursday, September 25, 2014
No chemo today
When we went in to see Sylvia today, she decided that my neuropathy is bad enough to delay treatment. She is hoping that taking a week off will let it recede a little bit. She was not sure if we will just skip this dose or if they will tack it on to the end of the regimen. She also put me on Ritalin! In adults, it does exactly the opposite as it does in kids. It calms kids down, but hypes up adults. She is trying to get my energy level back up. All I do is teach and sleep. I'd like to spend more time interacting with my family. Though a couple days ago I was awake in the early evening and had an awesome time hanging out with Andy and Luke, just talking and laughing together. I want more of those times.
Darrin is really good about telling the truth about how I feel. I tend to downplay any pain or discomfort. I think it stems from my desire to not inconvenience people. Silly, I know. Anyway- he does a good job of overriding me and telling Sylvia when I am really miserable. Today, it was a good thing. My stomach has been bugging me. I thought it felt like a pulled muscle, or a band around my waist. Apparently, that can be a sign of gall bladder issues. I'm the perfect candidate for that- pushing 40 (I can't believe I just said that!), female, and "carrying a little extra weight" as Sylvia put it. Darrin and I laughed and laughed at the prospect of yet another problem. We're going to keep an eye on it and see what happens. It could also be pain radiating from my back, which has been sore lately. I'm praying for that option.
It is really wonderful to have a life partner who is such a wonderful care giver. He is truly a blessing from the Lord every single day. He is endlessly patient with my frequent bouts of tears, and always seems to know just what to say to comfort me or make me laugh. It is amazing that we can find so much to laugh about through all this. He is just so sunny and positive. He helps me remember that even though this seems like it will never end, there is an end in sight. I WILL feel better eventually and get my regular life back. And that regular life will be so much sweeter for having gone through this suffering.
The first five years of our marriage has been full of major events. Darrin quit his job and became a storyteller, he's been in 2 car accidents that totaled the vehicle he was driving, (one of which got Andy an ambulance ride with a broken collarbone). I've had ear surgery and two foot surgeries, we bought a new house and watched our old one be torn down, we've had to deal with some difficult people, and now we're fighting cancer. It has certainly been eventful. It's been great, though, too. It has drawn us closer together, and closer to the Lord. I just hope and pray the next five years will be quieter. :)
Darrin is really good about telling the truth about how I feel. I tend to downplay any pain or discomfort. I think it stems from my desire to not inconvenience people. Silly, I know. Anyway- he does a good job of overriding me and telling Sylvia when I am really miserable. Today, it was a good thing. My stomach has been bugging me. I thought it felt like a pulled muscle, or a band around my waist. Apparently, that can be a sign of gall bladder issues. I'm the perfect candidate for that- pushing 40 (I can't believe I just said that!), female, and "carrying a little extra weight" as Sylvia put it. Darrin and I laughed and laughed at the prospect of yet another problem. We're going to keep an eye on it and see what happens. It could also be pain radiating from my back, which has been sore lately. I'm praying for that option.
It is really wonderful to have a life partner who is such a wonderful care giver. He is truly a blessing from the Lord every single day. He is endlessly patient with my frequent bouts of tears, and always seems to know just what to say to comfort me or make me laugh. It is amazing that we can find so much to laugh about through all this. He is just so sunny and positive. He helps me remember that even though this seems like it will never end, there is an end in sight. I WILL feel better eventually and get my regular life back. And that regular life will be so much sweeter for having gone through this suffering.
The first five years of our marriage has been full of major events. Darrin quit his job and became a storyteller, he's been in 2 car accidents that totaled the vehicle he was driving, (one of which got Andy an ambulance ride with a broken collarbone). I've had ear surgery and two foot surgeries, we bought a new house and watched our old one be torn down, we've had to deal with some difficult people, and now we're fighting cancer. It has certainly been eventful. It's been great, though, too. It has drawn us closer together, and closer to the Lord. I just hope and pray the next five years will be quieter. :)
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
Worse than the A/C
So I think the Taxol might be worse than the A/C. It just took me several tries to write that first sentence. The neuropathy just keeps getting worse. I can barely feel my fingers and my feet are alternately numb and painful. I've upped my medication again, but it's not helping much. Tomorrow is a chemo day, so I hope we'll be able to come up with a plan. I'm not sure I can handle this for 2 more months. It's hard to grade or even hand out papers. My handwriting is getting almost illegible, and it's getting harder and harder to type. GRRRR.
With the A/C I could have lots of fluids and anti-nausea drugs that helped a lot. There isn't anything like that for the Taxol. Just the gabipenten, which slows the progression but doesn't stop or reverse it. I'm kind of nervous about what Sylvia will say tomorrow. I obviously need to finish the regimen, but if it keeps proceeding like this, I won't be able to function. This is just no fun at all.
On top of that, my muscles are getting weaker, even though I'm doing my exercises every day. I'd really appreciate prayers so we can figure this out and get a good solution. It's obviously very frustrating, and scary, too. I feel like I'm 95 years old.
On the other hand, I know God has better things planned for me. This is a stage I have to go through and there are lessons to be learned. He knows how bad it is going to get and He has the strength to see me through it. I've been thinking a lot about how through him, strength is perfected in weakness. I'm feeling pretty weak, so hopefully the strength is coming!
School at least has been going quite well. The kids are very understanding of my chemo brain. :) It's really good to be teaching- it's a good distraction, even when the neuropathy makes it frustrating. Tomorrow marks my 5th Taxol treatment, so only 7 more to go after that. The end might actually sort of be coming into view.
The Especially for You race is coming up soon- I'm signed up to walk it, though I'm not sure I'll be able to. But that's OK- it will be fun to be there. GO TEAM ROBIN!!
With the A/C I could have lots of fluids and anti-nausea drugs that helped a lot. There isn't anything like that for the Taxol. Just the gabipenten, which slows the progression but doesn't stop or reverse it. I'm kind of nervous about what Sylvia will say tomorrow. I obviously need to finish the regimen, but if it keeps proceeding like this, I won't be able to function. This is just no fun at all.
On top of that, my muscles are getting weaker, even though I'm doing my exercises every day. I'd really appreciate prayers so we can figure this out and get a good solution. It's obviously very frustrating, and scary, too. I feel like I'm 95 years old.
On the other hand, I know God has better things planned for me. This is a stage I have to go through and there are lessons to be learned. He knows how bad it is going to get and He has the strength to see me through it. I've been thinking a lot about how through him, strength is perfected in weakness. I'm feeling pretty weak, so hopefully the strength is coming!
School at least has been going quite well. The kids are very understanding of my chemo brain. :) It's really good to be teaching- it's a good distraction, even when the neuropathy makes it frustrating. Tomorrow marks my 5th Taxol treatment, so only 7 more to go after that. The end might actually sort of be coming into view.
The Especially for You race is coming up soon- I'm signed up to walk it, though I'm not sure I'll be able to. But that's OK- it will be fun to be there. GO TEAM ROBIN!!
Saturday, September 20, 2014
My birthday
Yesterday (the 19th) was my 38th birthday. It was a very nice day. Usually I do not make a big deal out of my birthday. I kind of feel that birthday parties and such are for kids, unless you're hitting an adult milestone. I also don't like having a lot of attention paid to me, so I usually let my birthday pass quietly- I don't even have it listed on facebook. :) But this year I realized that I am lucky to be having a birthday. Actually, we all are, every year. We have no idea what God has in store for us and we should celebrate every moment that we have. So I took candy for the kids at school and talked with them about how we should be thankful for the time we have to do the Lord's work on this earth. I'm starting to look at birthdays as something to praise God for- it's not about celebrating me, it's about celebrating Him and the work He is doing. That was a pretty cool revelation.
We went out to dinner at Red Robin- everyone's favorite. Unfortunately, food has started to taste funny again, so I didn't really enjoy it. It's different from last time when heavier foods and meat usually tasted pretty good. Now I'm craving fresh stuff- salads and apples and fruit smoothies. They still don't always taste right, but at least it's healthier. And I'm totally over ice cream, which is a great disappointment to my husband. :)
The neuropathy is getting steadily worse, especially in my feet. The best way to describe it is how your feet feel after walking several miles in uncomfortable shoes. Or maybe even heels. ;) We didn't increase any medications this week, but I think we'll have to next week. Those meds just make me really tired, so school will probably get a little harder. I'd appreciate prayers for wakefulness during the school day.
We enjoyed the last farmer's market of the summer this morning. We bought some mulling spices to go in apple cider. Then this afternoon we bought a huge pumpkin at Aldi and a gorgeous mum at Sam's. It's starting to feel like fall and I LOVE it! We picked the three apples off our apple tree today- they were quite yummy. In a couple years hopefully we'll be able to have enough apples to make our own cider. That would be awesome.
Here's to a wonderful fall season, even in the midst of this stupid thing called cancer. :)
We went out to dinner at Red Robin- everyone's favorite. Unfortunately, food has started to taste funny again, so I didn't really enjoy it. It's different from last time when heavier foods and meat usually tasted pretty good. Now I'm craving fresh stuff- salads and apples and fruit smoothies. They still don't always taste right, but at least it's healthier. And I'm totally over ice cream, which is a great disappointment to my husband. :)
The neuropathy is getting steadily worse, especially in my feet. The best way to describe it is how your feet feel after walking several miles in uncomfortable shoes. Or maybe even heels. ;) We didn't increase any medications this week, but I think we'll have to next week. Those meds just make me really tired, so school will probably get a little harder. I'd appreciate prayers for wakefulness during the school day.
We enjoyed the last farmer's market of the summer this morning. We bought some mulling spices to go in apple cider. Then this afternoon we bought a huge pumpkin at Aldi and a gorgeous mum at Sam's. It's starting to feel like fall and I LOVE it! We picked the three apples off our apple tree today- they were quite yummy. In a couple years hopefully we'll be able to have enough apples to make our own cider. That would be awesome.
Here's to a wonderful fall season, even in the midst of this stupid thing called cancer. :)
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Taxol round 4
Today was pretty uneventful, as far as chemo goes. I needed extra fluids, which I think is just becoming standard with me. I also need to get some Vitamin B6, so I can add to my 28-30 pills I take each day. ;)
Sylvia is also ordering a thyroid test to make sure my fatigue is really all cancer related and not something else. She is very thorough.
Today I didn't get in my second gabipentin pill until after 5, and I am really paying for it. It's the drug that helps with the tingling and pain. I'm actually hurting quite a bit, so I thought blogging would help get my mind off it, but it's turning out to be kind of hard to type. So this might be a short entry! ;)
I've been falling asleep every day at school, sometimes while I have kids! (Only if they are working quietly or watching a film- I haven't yet fallen asleep while actively teaching!) I'm also really starting to feel the chemobrain. I stared at Tyler Glenski (whom I've known forever) for a full 10 seconds before I could get his name today. He was very gracious about it. ;) It's really frustrating. I love to have conversations about current events and local happenings, and it's getting harder and harder to express myself well. Maybe it's just God humbling me about my vocabulary. ;)
We have a beautiful Mexican sunflower growing outside our backdoor. It has become a beacon for butterflies. We've had several different kinds over the last few weeks, but now the monarchs are here. They are so amazing. How can these fragile, little winged creatures fly all that way? It reminds me that God takes care of the least of His creatures, and He will certainly take care of all of us. The butterflies also remind me to look for beauty in small things, not just big things. A butterfly might be one of the most beautiful things on the planet, and it is tiny and delicate. Of course, mountains are incredibly beautiful, too, and they are huge and solid. There is some lesson in there, I'm sure. :) But it's time for me to take some pain medication. :) To those who read this tonight, have a great evening!
Sylvia is also ordering a thyroid test to make sure my fatigue is really all cancer related and not something else. She is very thorough.
Today I didn't get in my second gabipentin pill until after 5, and I am really paying for it. It's the drug that helps with the tingling and pain. I'm actually hurting quite a bit, so I thought blogging would help get my mind off it, but it's turning out to be kind of hard to type. So this might be a short entry! ;)
I've been falling asleep every day at school, sometimes while I have kids! (Only if they are working quietly or watching a film- I haven't yet fallen asleep while actively teaching!) I'm also really starting to feel the chemobrain. I stared at Tyler Glenski (whom I've known forever) for a full 10 seconds before I could get his name today. He was very gracious about it. ;) It's really frustrating. I love to have conversations about current events and local happenings, and it's getting harder and harder to express myself well. Maybe it's just God humbling me about my vocabulary. ;)
We have a beautiful Mexican sunflower growing outside our backdoor. It has become a beacon for butterflies. We've had several different kinds over the last few weeks, but now the monarchs are here. They are so amazing. How can these fragile, little winged creatures fly all that way? It reminds me that God takes care of the least of His creatures, and He will certainly take care of all of us. The butterflies also remind me to look for beauty in small things, not just big things. A butterfly might be one of the most beautiful things on the planet, and it is tiny and delicate. Of course, mountains are incredibly beautiful, too, and they are huge and solid. There is some lesson in there, I'm sure. :) But it's time for me to take some pain medication. :) To those who read this tonight, have a great evening!
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Thank you
So many people have blessed us in so many ways. I started out being really good about writing down each person and what they did. As I got more exhausted, and then was in the hospital, I really lost track of everything, which really bothers me. If you have blessed us with cards, gifts, flowers, or meals, THANK YOU SO MUCH. We are really, truly grateful for everything. It is so encouraging to get a card in the mail, and the meals have been amazing. The support we feel is so humbling. Thank you for loving us, and please forgive me for not sending individual notes to everyone. I would if I could remember!! Chemo brain is so annoying. We love you all so much, and pray blessings on all of you who have blessed us so abundantly!
Third round of Taxol
I apologize for not being more consistent with my blogging. On days I feel good I just want to go and do stuff, and then on days I don't feel good I don't want to do anything. :)
Taxol round three went ok. I just needed some extra fluids, so no blood transfusion this time around. That was nice. I actually made it back to school to teach my last two classes. We did add more drugs to try to deal with the neuropathy and to get the nausea under control. This Sunday has been much better than the last two, though I did mostly sleep through church and Sunday school. (Sorry Joel and Chuck!) ;) However, the drugs we added, actually just upped the doses of, cause muscle wasting. So now I have this regimen of exercises to do all the time so I don't lose all the muscle in my legs. I've already noticed it some going up and down stairs. If you ever need motivation to exercise, being told your muscles will waste away is a good one.
This whole weakening, exhaustion thing is so hard for me. I used to be so strong and full of energy. Now I can sometimes barely open a jar because my hands are numb or painful. I feel like I'm 85. There are so many things I want to be doing, but I just can't. Darrin keeps telling me to just readjust my expectations. That is really hard for me, though. I want to be with people and do activities and not miss out on my fall like I missed out on summer. We did go to the apple orchard yesterday, which was fun. We picked a few apples and ate apple cider doughnuts and had an apple slushie. It wiped me out completely, but it was worth it. It was such a beautiful day.
I'm also really, really struggling with being bald. It didn't bother me too much at first, but now I can't even look at myself in the mirror without a hat on. I feel like a big alien egg head. Darrin says he is going to decorate me for Easter. :) I don't know why now it is bothering me so much. Maybe it's seeing everyone at school with their hair and braids and ribbons and even just watching people run their hands through their hair. It's amazing what we take for granted until it is gone. I've lost my eyebrows now and most of my eyelashes. It's just another physical reminder of this massive battle going on inside my body.
This morning we sang at church that God is good all the time. I know that is absolutely true. Sometimes it is hard to see the good in the midst of all the pain and exhaustion. I hope He is using this blog for good and it is encouraging you who are reading. I have never questioned God's decision to give me this cancer, though I would be happy to give it back! I hope it is helping people understand what it really means to go through cancer treatment. I never had any idea before. I knew people did chemo and radiation, but I had no idea what those things meant and how they actually affected people. Of course, my experience is not typical, and most people's experiences are much less harsh. I just cling to the fact that God is already there, he is walking with me every step and has a perfect plan. :)
Taxol round three went ok. I just needed some extra fluids, so no blood transfusion this time around. That was nice. I actually made it back to school to teach my last two classes. We did add more drugs to try to deal with the neuropathy and to get the nausea under control. This Sunday has been much better than the last two, though I did mostly sleep through church and Sunday school. (Sorry Joel and Chuck!) ;) However, the drugs we added, actually just upped the doses of, cause muscle wasting. So now I have this regimen of exercises to do all the time so I don't lose all the muscle in my legs. I've already noticed it some going up and down stairs. If you ever need motivation to exercise, being told your muscles will waste away is a good one.
This whole weakening, exhaustion thing is so hard for me. I used to be so strong and full of energy. Now I can sometimes barely open a jar because my hands are numb or painful. I feel like I'm 85. There are so many things I want to be doing, but I just can't. Darrin keeps telling me to just readjust my expectations. That is really hard for me, though. I want to be with people and do activities and not miss out on my fall like I missed out on summer. We did go to the apple orchard yesterday, which was fun. We picked a few apples and ate apple cider doughnuts and had an apple slushie. It wiped me out completely, but it was worth it. It was such a beautiful day.
I'm also really, really struggling with being bald. It didn't bother me too much at first, but now I can't even look at myself in the mirror without a hat on. I feel like a big alien egg head. Darrin says he is going to decorate me for Easter. :) I don't know why now it is bothering me so much. Maybe it's seeing everyone at school with their hair and braids and ribbons and even just watching people run their hands through their hair. It's amazing what we take for granted until it is gone. I've lost my eyebrows now and most of my eyelashes. It's just another physical reminder of this massive battle going on inside my body.
This morning we sang at church that God is good all the time. I know that is absolutely true. Sometimes it is hard to see the good in the midst of all the pain and exhaustion. I hope He is using this blog for good and it is encouraging you who are reading. I have never questioned God's decision to give me this cancer, though I would be happy to give it back! I hope it is helping people understand what it really means to go through cancer treatment. I never had any idea before. I knew people did chemo and radiation, but I had no idea what those things meant and how they actually affected people. Of course, my experience is not typical, and most people's experiences are much less harsh. I just cling to the fact that God is already there, he is walking with me every step and has a perfect plan. :)
Friday, September 5, 2014
So much medication, so little sleep
Yesterday Sylvia prescribed two more medications to help with the tingling and pain associated with the taxol. Today, I got a phone message that my blood work shows I'm still anemic, so now I have to start taking Folic Acid. I'm also supposed to be taking vitamin C (though I think I'll just drink lots of orange juice). These are all on top of the 4 anti-nausea drugs and 4 other drugs I regularly take for my colitis and arthritis. Oh, and my probiotic. I think this makes the count 12 different drugs. That doesn't include the myriad of drugs I get every time I go in for chemo. That just seems crazy to me. I'm hoping to wean off the anti-nausea stuff over the next few weeks as the A/C side effects continue to lessen.
Several of these drugs are supposed to help me sleep, but they don't seem to be working. We were up watching tv until 1, trying to get tired. Then I woke up again at 4. I'm going to try taking the drugs earlier to see if maybe they just need awhile to kick in. Needless to say, I was pretty tired today.
It was a pretty good day at school, though I realized that I am feeling very disconnected. I realize I've only been back for 3 days. But coming in 2 weeks late meant I just had to dive in to teaching and I didn't get a chance to get to know my kids yet. Also, I really miss the juniors and seniors I had last year and don't have this year. I'm sure it will get better the longer I am back, but today I was very sad about it all. I'm hoping I'll have everyone all caught up by next Friday and then we can relax a little and connect better.
Back in May, I intellectually knew that this would be a long battle. I had no idea how long and how difficult it would be. It seems like it will never end. Being in the trenches, battling everyday with some new or worsening side effect is really wearing. Last night I was praying about it and really realized that there is NO WAY I can do this in my own strength. God's strength is sufficient, though, and He will get me through it. I'm continuing to learn to give up control to Him and to rely on His strength and grace and peace to get me through each day, and each sleepless night. Though I must say, I hope I learn my lesson soon so I can get a good night of sleep!! :)
Several of these drugs are supposed to help me sleep, but they don't seem to be working. We were up watching tv until 1, trying to get tired. Then I woke up again at 4. I'm going to try taking the drugs earlier to see if maybe they just need awhile to kick in. Needless to say, I was pretty tired today.
It was a pretty good day at school, though I realized that I am feeling very disconnected. I realize I've only been back for 3 days. But coming in 2 weeks late meant I just had to dive in to teaching and I didn't get a chance to get to know my kids yet. Also, I really miss the juniors and seniors I had last year and don't have this year. I'm sure it will get better the longer I am back, but today I was very sad about it all. I'm hoping I'll have everyone all caught up by next Friday and then we can relax a little and connect better.
Back in May, I intellectually knew that this would be a long battle. I had no idea how long and how difficult it would be. It seems like it will never end. Being in the trenches, battling everyday with some new or worsening side effect is really wearing. Last night I was praying about it and really realized that there is NO WAY I can do this in my own strength. God's strength is sufficient, though, and He will get me through it. I'm continuing to learn to give up control to Him and to rely on His strength and grace and peace to get me through each day, and each sleepless night. Though I must say, I hope I learn my lesson soon so I can get a good night of sleep!! :)
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Second Taxol Treatment
This morning I went in for my second of 12 taxol treatments. My blood work came back mixed. My kidneys are improving slowly, which is very good news. However, my hemoglobin is pretty low and has been dropping every week for the last 3 weeks. So, Sylvia decided to order 2 units of blood for a blood transfusion. They don't do blood at PCI, so I had chemo first and then, after a quick lunch at Subway, headed over to St. Luke's infusion center. I am currently a little ways in to the first unit. The whole thing will take about 5 hours, so no work for me today. I was really glad I had planned a study hall for 6th grade and a work day for world history. I'm fervently praying that my scripts will arrive in time for drama class at 2:45. Darrin headed over to the school to take care of the drama kids and play games with them if the scripts don't arrive. I'll be here until around 5 pm. Another reason to be so very thankful for meals provided by wonderful friends and church family!
It was tough having to come back to the hospital, even knowing it's only for a few hours. Having to get a wrist band again made me panic a little, and then when I heard an IV machine beep like mine did so many times I almost lost it. I had to do some deep breathing to stay in control. I find that so odd. I talked with Sylvia about my panic and sadness a little and about the numbness in my fingers. She thinks the transfusion will help me feel physically better and thus mentally better, and she prescribed a new med that will help with the tingling and will help me sleep better. She also prescribed percoset to help with the joint pain. We decided to go with those options. If things do not improve mentally, she can give me a drug that originally was used to treat seizures, but is now used as an anti-depressant for cancer patients (and others). It's really nice to know that there are so many options. It also amazes me how much time Sylvia spends with us and how well she listens to me and Darrin. I really feel like I have choices and am in control of my health. I appreciate that a lot.
Here's the best thing in the world!! I was just visited by Sydney the therapy CAT!! She came up with her handlers and just snuggled on my lap. It was amazing! The timing was perfect- God sent her at exactly the right time. I was a little nervous about the blood transfusion, and it had just started when Sydney arrived. It took my mind right off of it. She sat with me for about 10 or 15 minutes, and it was awesome. Why couldn't she have come around when I was an in patient?? We joked about trying to smuggle one of our cats onto the floor, but we didn't figure they would take it very well. ;)
According to Lynne, 30 people have signed up to join my team for the Especially for You race in Oct. If you signed up, thanks!! I can't wait to find out who you all are! And thanks to all of you for your continued suppport! GO TEAM ROBIN!
It was tough having to come back to the hospital, even knowing it's only for a few hours. Having to get a wrist band again made me panic a little, and then when I heard an IV machine beep like mine did so many times I almost lost it. I had to do some deep breathing to stay in control. I find that so odd. I talked with Sylvia about my panic and sadness a little and about the numbness in my fingers. She thinks the transfusion will help me feel physically better and thus mentally better, and she prescribed a new med that will help with the tingling and will help me sleep better. She also prescribed percoset to help with the joint pain. We decided to go with those options. If things do not improve mentally, she can give me a drug that originally was used to treat seizures, but is now used as an anti-depressant for cancer patients (and others). It's really nice to know that there are so many options. It also amazes me how much time Sylvia spends with us and how well she listens to me and Darrin. I really feel like I have choices and am in control of my health. I appreciate that a lot.
Here's the best thing in the world!! I was just visited by Sydney the therapy CAT!! She came up with her handlers and just snuggled on my lap. It was amazing! The timing was perfect- God sent her at exactly the right time. I was a little nervous about the blood transfusion, and it had just started when Sydney arrived. It took my mind right off of it. She sat with me for about 10 or 15 minutes, and it was awesome. Why couldn't she have come around when I was an in patient?? We joked about trying to smuggle one of our cats onto the floor, but we didn't figure they would take it very well. ;)
According to Lynne, 30 people have signed up to join my team for the Especially for You race in Oct. If you signed up, thanks!! I can't wait to find out who you all are! And thanks to all of you for your continued suppport! GO TEAM ROBIN!
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Chemo Part 2- Taxol, and going back to work!!
I started my second chemo drug last Thursday. Dr. Buntinas and Sylvia decided I was healthy enough, which was a huge praise. Going too much longer would have really messed things up, and the more you delay treatment the less effective it is.
So on Thursday last I went in and we started taxol. Actually, we had to start with an hour of fluids because my kidney numbers had gone back up a little. After a good flushing, though, they went back down and we went on to the actual chemo.
It starts with the steroid, dexamethazone, and zofran (anti-nausea). Then I got a big dose of benedryl and zantac, I think. The benedryl put me to sleep. Then they started the taxol. One of the nurses, Darcy, had to sit and literally stare at me for 15 minutes to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction. Everyone was SURE I would with all the problems I'd had. Miraculously, I didn't!! My body handled it just fine and we didn't have to do anything different. All the chemo girls and I were amazed. :)
The steroids gave me TONS of energy for Thursday and Friday. It was great to feel so good again. But Saturday it all ended. I slept until 1 pm and then slept again from 1:30-5:30. I don't know if that will happen again this week or if it was still just recovering from being sick. I hope it was just recovering. I also slept most of Sunday. By Monday I was feeling better.
The side effects started kicking on Sunday, though. The nausea hasn't been a problem, for which I am very thankful. However, I did have really severe joint pain on Sunday night. That has lessened, and hopefully the Dr. can give me something to take when it happens again. I also have started getting the tingling in my fingertips and hands. So far I can still type relatively well, but it is getting more and more pronounced each day. I'll talk to the Dr. about that tomorrow, too. It can take months after treatment is over for the effects to go away, and sometimes they never do. That would really stink.
I went back to work on Tuesday. I was really nervous about it. The staff had planned a 'pink out' and told all the kids to wear pink to welcome me back. They had signs all over telling people to wear pink. It was really awesome. I felt very loved.
Both Darrin and Dawn Foote were there all day to help me out. We got everything figured out for each class and Dawn helped me make a bunch of copies. She did such a great job subbing with short notice and only my notes to go off of. My notes of course make sense to me, but they don't necessarily translate well. I'm so thankful all my classes moved forward and we're pretty much on track.
Today I was on my own. I did talk to Jeff about not teaching Bible this semester, and he got that changed. With Bible I would have kids 7 periods a day on M,W, and F. This way I'll have a break every day during 3rd hour. That will really help me not get too tired. Julianne Wilson is taking it over. It's great curriculum and I think she'll do a great job and the girls will enjoy her.
Going back to work was the best thing I could have done. It has helped my fatigue lessen and given me purpose. It's great to be around the kids again and teaching the things I love. I have chemo again tomorrow, so prayers for that and no advancement of side effects. Thanks! GO TEAM ROBIN!!
So on Thursday last I went in and we started taxol. Actually, we had to start with an hour of fluids because my kidney numbers had gone back up a little. After a good flushing, though, they went back down and we went on to the actual chemo.
It starts with the steroid, dexamethazone, and zofran (anti-nausea). Then I got a big dose of benedryl and zantac, I think. The benedryl put me to sleep. Then they started the taxol. One of the nurses, Darcy, had to sit and literally stare at me for 15 minutes to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction. Everyone was SURE I would with all the problems I'd had. Miraculously, I didn't!! My body handled it just fine and we didn't have to do anything different. All the chemo girls and I were amazed. :)
The steroids gave me TONS of energy for Thursday and Friday. It was great to feel so good again. But Saturday it all ended. I slept until 1 pm and then slept again from 1:30-5:30. I don't know if that will happen again this week or if it was still just recovering from being sick. I hope it was just recovering. I also slept most of Sunday. By Monday I was feeling better.
The side effects started kicking on Sunday, though. The nausea hasn't been a problem, for which I am very thankful. However, I did have really severe joint pain on Sunday night. That has lessened, and hopefully the Dr. can give me something to take when it happens again. I also have started getting the tingling in my fingertips and hands. So far I can still type relatively well, but it is getting more and more pronounced each day. I'll talk to the Dr. about that tomorrow, too. It can take months after treatment is over for the effects to go away, and sometimes they never do. That would really stink.
I went back to work on Tuesday. I was really nervous about it. The staff had planned a 'pink out' and told all the kids to wear pink to welcome me back. They had signs all over telling people to wear pink. It was really awesome. I felt very loved.
Both Darrin and Dawn Foote were there all day to help me out. We got everything figured out for each class and Dawn helped me make a bunch of copies. She did such a great job subbing with short notice and only my notes to go off of. My notes of course make sense to me, but they don't necessarily translate well. I'm so thankful all my classes moved forward and we're pretty much on track.
Today I was on my own. I did talk to Jeff about not teaching Bible this semester, and he got that changed. With Bible I would have kids 7 periods a day on M,W, and F. This way I'll have a break every day during 3rd hour. That will really help me not get too tired. Julianne Wilson is taking it over. It's great curriculum and I think she'll do a great job and the girls will enjoy her.
Going back to work was the best thing I could have done. It has helped my fatigue lessen and given me purpose. It's great to be around the kids again and teaching the things I love. I have chemo again tomorrow, so prayers for that and no advancement of side effects. Thanks! GO TEAM ROBIN!!
Robin's Hospital Stay part 3
OK- I think I'm finally ready to write the end of the hospital adventure. There isn't actually a lot more to tell. Dr. Abu Alfoul couldn't figure out why I still had some fevers, so he ordered cultures off my port and from a peripheral location (my hand). They had to draw them twice from my hand because he wanted them to be from the same time. They first drew off my hand at 5 am, so they had to do it again around noon. Then we just had to wait. I kept feeling better and better, but we had to wait at least 24 hours. Unfortunately, the culture off my port got contaminated with staph, so then we had to wait another 24 hours. Dr. Frumpy came by and told me I should just have the port taken out if anything else came back positive. Better that than have to wait longer to start chemo again. I agreed- his logic seemed sound. However, praise the Lord, the rest of the cultures came back negative. I finally got to go home at 5:45 on Sunday evening. 12 days and 1 hour since I had gone in. The nurses stood up and cheered as I left. :)
The whole experience was really traumatic. I often didn't know what was going on and I was really, really sick for several of those days. Every person I dealt with was absolutely wonderful and kind, but it was a very difficult experience. I could shower, but we had to tape up my port so it didn't get wet, so I never really felt clean. I was hooked up to an IV machine, so I couldn't do anything or go anywhere easily. I was scared and lonely and confused much of the time. I'm not sure what God's purpose was, though I know He has one. I had a couple of good talks with one or two of the nurses, so that was positive. I tried really hard to be a good patient and treat all my caregivers with respect and thankfulness. Hopefully that will have an effect on them. Susan Johnson made me wonderful signs with verses of encouragement on them, and many people commented on them. I'm going to hope that seeds were planted and people were positively influenced.
I still have moments of freaking out about the whole thing, though they are fewer and farther between. As I continue to feel better my fear is lessening. The Lord has been very good to us and I am very thankful to be healthy-(ish) again. In my next post I'll talk about the new round of chemo. Thanks for your continued prayers!!
The whole experience was really traumatic. I often didn't know what was going on and I was really, really sick for several of those days. Every person I dealt with was absolutely wonderful and kind, but it was a very difficult experience. I could shower, but we had to tape up my port so it didn't get wet, so I never really felt clean. I was hooked up to an IV machine, so I couldn't do anything or go anywhere easily. I was scared and lonely and confused much of the time. I'm not sure what God's purpose was, though I know He has one. I had a couple of good talks with one or two of the nurses, so that was positive. I tried really hard to be a good patient and treat all my caregivers with respect and thankfulness. Hopefully that will have an effect on them. Susan Johnson made me wonderful signs with verses of encouragement on them, and many people commented on them. I'm going to hope that seeds were planted and people were positively influenced.
I still have moments of freaking out about the whole thing, though they are fewer and farther between. As I continue to feel better my fear is lessening. The Lord has been very good to us and I am very thankful to be healthy-(ish) again. In my next post I'll talk about the new round of chemo. Thanks for your continued prayers!!
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