Yesterday Sylvia prescribed two more medications to help with the tingling and pain associated with the taxol. Today, I got a phone message that my blood work shows I'm still anemic, so now I have to start taking Folic Acid. I'm also supposed to be taking vitamin C (though I think I'll just drink lots of orange juice). These are all on top of the 4 anti-nausea drugs and 4 other drugs I regularly take for my colitis and arthritis. Oh, and my probiotic. I think this makes the count 12 different drugs. That doesn't include the myriad of drugs I get every time I go in for chemo. That just seems crazy to me. I'm hoping to wean off the anti-nausea stuff over the next few weeks as the A/C side effects continue to lessen.
Several of these drugs are supposed to help me sleep, but they don't seem to be working. We were up watching tv until 1, trying to get tired. Then I woke up again at 4. I'm going to try taking the drugs earlier to see if maybe they just need awhile to kick in. Needless to say, I was pretty tired today.
It was a pretty good day at school, though I realized that I am feeling very disconnected. I realize I've only been back for 3 days. But coming in 2 weeks late meant I just had to dive in to teaching and I didn't get a chance to get to know my kids yet. Also, I really miss the juniors and seniors I had last year and don't have this year. I'm sure it will get better the longer I am back, but today I was very sad about it all. I'm hoping I'll have everyone all caught up by next Friday and then we can relax a little and connect better.
Back in May, I intellectually knew that this would be a long battle. I had no idea how long and how difficult it would be. It seems like it will never end. Being in the trenches, battling everyday with some new or worsening side effect is really wearing. Last night I was praying about it and really realized that there is NO WAY I can do this in my own strength. God's strength is sufficient, though, and He will get me through it. I'm continuing to learn to give up control to Him and to rely on His strength and grace and peace to get me through each day, and each sleepless night. Though I must say, I hope I learn my lesson soon so I can get a good night of sleep!! :)
You will keep a pharmacy running single handedly for a while. Grant did too... It eventually settles down. He's FINALLY down to his last drug from transplant over 2 years out. Praying for you
ReplyDeleteI know that God has brought Agatha into your life for a reason. Perhaps it's for you to see how sufficient God's power is for you as you release control and trust Him. He brought me out of a long struggle recently that felt like a spiritual sickness and I feel stronger because of it.
ReplyDeleteI came by last week and was looking for you, but I was told you had already left for the day. I'll be coming by again soon for a visit!
ReplyDeleteWe are all praying for you here.