Today was probably my toughest day emotionally so far on this journey. I am very thankful that my hair just started falling out yesterday, and I managed to make it to my appointment with Crystal today before it all came out. Yesterday was funny- when I ran my hand through my hair and came away with a bunch, Darrin quickly warned- "Don't sneeze!!" :)
It's funny how emotionally tied we are to our appearance. I have never been one to do much with hair or makeup, but I always loved my long hair. I thought the short purple hair was lots of fun, too. And now I'm surprised to say I'm not as upset about being bald as I thought I would be. I'm not happy about it, but I'm not devastated by it, either. Though I did have a good cry before we went to my appointment. I guess this is just the final, truly outward sign of this battle with cancer. I'm choosing to wear it proudly. Plus, I have lots of beautiful and cute scarves and hats to wear. :)
So far this round of chemo hasn't been as bad as the last. I had a pretty bad headache going earlier, but I threw 4 different drugs at it and it has mostly subsided. My tummy refuses to completely settle and food is starting to taste pretty yucky. I think I'm going to switch to plastic silverware- that is supposed to help. I've also noticed the dry mouth kicking in, so I'm swigging Biotene 5 times a day. I think I need to make myself a chart so I know what drugs I am taking when so I can keep track of times. It is amazing how many prescriptions I have. I hate relying on drugs to feel only decent, but it is better than the alternative.
I've had two of my daily shots so far. I'll have to leave church right away tomorrow to get another one at 11. I seem to be responding better to the one a day rather than the one big Neulasta shot.
I was very, very thankful for a good day yesterday for the 4th. We had crepes for breakfast and spent the morning playing Settlers of Cataan with the boys. Then we spent the afternoon with Darrin's family outside at Mom and Dad Crow's house. Then last night we made millions of s'mores with the Lillis's and then walked to Kenwood school to watch the Elmcrest fireworks, do sparklers and eat popcorn. It was an absolute blast. (no pun intended!) It was such a blessing to really enjoy the day. I was tired, but that is to be expected. After we got Andy off on the Youth Group trip this morning at 6:30, we headed over to the Farmer's Market for a little while, and then we came home and I slept until after 1.
I can tell the fatigue is starting to kick in more, so I'm trying to pace myself and not do too much. That is hard for me- I like to keep my house cleaned up and I like to get out and do things. I just need to realize that this is only for a season (I hope- sometimes fatigue can last for over a year!).
It's time to end our day with a short walk. My husband has decided he likes the bald look, so he'll be seen in public with me!!
So glad that you had a good 4th of July and that another one of those milestone days (hair loss) is over and you survived to write about it! You are now proving that saying: "There are a few perfect heads in this world and the rest are covered with hair!" Praying you always remember truth!
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