Chemo Brain

Yesterday was another great day.  We actually accomplished stuff and really enjoyed our day.  Of course, I'm sitting here trying to remember what we did, and I have absolutely no idea.  But I know it was a good day. :)

Today I woke up with a massive headache I haven't really been able to shake.  I might have done too much on Monday and Tuesday.  And maybe my body just knows chemo is coming tomorrow and is already rebelling.

I went to school for a little bit today, met with Jeff, and looked at some calendar stuff to try to get my head around the fall.  I really think one of the Lord's main purposes is to get me to quit being a control freak.  It frustrates me to no end that I cannot make any solid plans about anything. Usually by this point I've already started making copies and writing out lesson plans.  I have to remember that school will still happen and my students will still get educated.  My co-workers are absolutely the best people in the world, and my students bring me no end of joy.  I couldn't ask for a better situation.

Did I mention that the other day one of the senior boys dropped by with flowers?  It was the sweetest thing ever, and they are really beautiful.  I definitely have the best job ever. :)

I'm starting to find it hard to track long conversations.  I think my writing is probably taking a hit, too.  It's getting harder and harder to be coherent and remember what I want to say.  Yesterday I was on the phone and couldn't come up with Darrin's name.  :)  So- if you talk to me and I seem really random or disengaged, I apologize.  It is quite an effort, and it leaves me exhausted.  And the fatigue is supposed to get worse as treatment goes on, especially with radiation.

I am still managing to enjoy a really great book.  I'm reading Bonhoeffer, by Eric Metaxas.  It is a biography of Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  He was a German pastor who was involved in the big plot to assassinate Hitler.  The book focuses on the fact that Christians have to critically evaluate what we believe and why we believe it, and make sure that what we conclude matches with scripture.  It is as timely now as it was 70 years ago. We have a new curriculum for Bible class this year from Summit Ministries.  It argues pretty much the same thing.  We have to know what we believe and why.  I love it when separate things come together to make one unifying point. Of course, it's funny that I am reading and thinking so much about intellectual stuff when my intellect is stuck in jello. :)

Tomorrow is the last of the bad chemo.  Prayers are appreciated!  I don't have to be there until 10:30, so it will be a long day.  Go, Team!